Embrace Change
It is peak Spring, the season of new beginnings, of change. If you’re an astrology bitch, then you probably know about the super-full-blood lunar eclipse happening May 16th, which also means change, change, and more change.
Like death and taxes, change is inevitable. The ability to change and our resistance to it is part of what makes us living human beings. From the drop of a leaf to mass technological improvements, change will continue to happen in small and big ways.
Change is also hard. Until very recently, I had a complicated relationship with change. I hated it. Even changes that seemed good were difficult for me. When my mom separated from my stepdad and we moved in with my grandma, I cried. Moving was one of the best things to happen to us because he was abusive, but the suddenness of it sent me spinning.
Change is especially hard for those who do not have strong foundations. I moved 11 times before I graduated high school, and our unpredictable housing situations caused me to cling to whatever stability I could find. This ranged from always having chapstick to making a home out of the music program at my school.
As difficult as change can be, it is also important that we experience it. Change brings us closer to where we are meant to be. It opens up opportunities for us that might not have existed otherwise. Change allows us to grow and become our best selves. Last night my plans changed. Instead of getting upset, I realized that the change gave me an easier path to something that I needed and hadn’t received enough of recently. Rest.
If you struggle with change, especially during charged times, do the following:
Focus on What You Can Control
You have more control than you think you do. What we can control will be different for everyone, but we all have something. Start with your thoughts, words, and actions, and then expand to things outside of yourself. What you can control may change, but there should always be a thing you can go to. Right now, I can control what I eat for breakfast. I try to make sure I eat protein and fruit, so I have more energy at the beginning of the day.
Trust Your Intuition
If something doesn’t feel right, remove yourself from the situation. If you’re not sure how you feel, ask yourself a yes or no question about it, and listen for the first response that pops into your head. The other day, I debated reconnecting with an old friend, so I asked myself if I wanted to spend time with them. The first answer that popped into my head was yes, so I opened up to them, and we talked things out. This may not always work, especially in the beginning, but the more you practice, the more you will trust yourself.
Breathe
It is truly amazing what we can do with our breath. Conscious breath work and breath control can help you feel more relaxed and energized (Zaccaro et al., 2018). It can also reduce symptoms caused by “anxiety, depression, anger, and confusion” (Zaccaro et al., 2018). Breath work has become a critical part of my life. Whenever I am feeling an overwhelming emotion, I breathe intentionally to regulate and ground myself. This is especially useful when I’m angry. I also use my breath to let go of things by visualizing them when I exhale. Our breath is powerful. Use it.
Zaccaro, A., Piarulli, A., Laurino, M., Garbella, E., Menicucci, D., Neri, B., & Gemignani, A. (2018).
How Breath-Control Can Change Your Life: A Systematic Review on Psycho-
Physiological Correlates of Slow Breathing. Frontiers in human neuroscience,
12, 353. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00353
